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Wednesday, October 16, 2002
WAS AL QAEDA BEHIND THE BALI MASSACRE? The answer to this and other irrelevant questions in these week's FrontPage column, Beyond al Qaeda. Monday, October 14, 2002
WEINKOPF.COM FOOTBALL POOL WEEK 6 UPDATE: WHEN'S BASEBALL SEASON END? 
Pool leader "When's Baseball Season Start?" Bob Smiley makes it look easy. IT AIN’T RIGHT. In the annals of football-picking outrages, Week 6 in the Weinkopf.com Football Pool stands alone: It was the week that my brother-in-law, “When’s Baseball Season Start” Bob Smiley, claimed first prize. Just in case anyone doesn’t know, Bob made all his picks—for the entire season—before week 1. That was without spreads. That was when people thought the Rams would roll over teams like the Raiders and the Mighty Mighty Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots would be a .500 team. (Okay, so those were bad examples—you get the point; he was picking blindly). Yet here we are, six weeks into the season, and Mr. Baseball routs the rest of the group, not only to win the week, but to claim first place in the overall standings. In total, he picked 11 of 14 games correctly, for a stunning 88 points on the week, putting the rest of us to shame. An elite trio managed respectable scores of 60 or above: Defending Champion Jersey Girl Cris (66); Steel Man Joe (63); and Yours Truly, the Mighty Mighty Pats Fan (62). But it wasn’t even close. Bob walked all over us like the Steelers trampling the Bungles. (Watch out next time, Pittsburgh!) It ain’t supposed to be that way. As punishment for this gridiron abomination, Bob has been tagged with next week’s One to Watch honors. For that matter—brother or not—he is now also the one to revile, fear, and, yes, envy. The hex Bob better tread carefully. The One to Watch hex did its job masterfully on Glen “Schizophobes” Cohen, whose new handle must have something to do with his strange tendency to come up with new titles and personalities almost every week. Glen’s weekly total was cut from 64 to 44 points, dropping him from first place to fourth overall. And the One Not to Watch anti-hex worked rather well for me, nearly doubling my weekly score from 33 to 62 points. More such magic is needed: I hereby dub the Mighty Mighty Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots the Team Not to Watch. With that, I guarantee they will not lose next week. (Heh-heh.) Back to earth No hex was needed for At Least I’m Not a Zebra Elizabeth (41 points) and Bruiser Tim (28), who followed up last week’s phenomenal performances with a return to their usual form. Both retain their positions at the bottom of the pool. One or the other would probably qualify for this week’s One Not To Watch anti-hex, except that that title clearly belongs to Hoboken Orphans Chris, who shattered Padawan Ebin’s previous record for a one-week low (12) by putting up a horrendous 6 points. Hoboken managed to pick just three games correctly—the ones he assigned 1, 2, and 3 confidence points. Scores like that make Bob’s triumph all the more maddening. The other low-performers for the week are: New York Lancers Dave (30) and Stinky Cheese Tara (25). But to give you some sense of perspective, even these two managed to quintuple and quadruple, respectively, the Orphan’s total score. Don’t worry Hoboken—the One Not To Watch charm will set you back on track! On the family front: Padawan Ebin (50) continues his dominance over father NevadaNiner Jason (44) taking a 4-2 lead on the season. Baseball Bob is still schooling his big brother, yours truly, building up a 4-2 lead of his own. And no one has bothered to explain to Grogan’s Heroes Kenny that a gentleman lets his wife win once in a while—the Texan Zebra is now beating the Mrs. 4-1. The only family race that’s interesting is the intra-Rubush squabble, as Brother “Barrio Bravo” Matthew has bested Brother Hail to the Redskins! Scott for the second straight week (52 to 49), bringing the season total to 4-2. Go figure Not that too much should be made of any of this. Case in point: Giants vs. Falcons, a game that everyone in the pool picked incorrectly except for long-range forecaster Bob and king of the sippy cup, Ebin. How’s that for a little dose of humility? It’s a cruel, cruel football world. See you next week! Yours, Chris, the Mighty Mighty Pats Fan |